


The Missus and the Ex

by Call_Me_Tears



Series: Torchwood P.I. [6]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Private Investigators, F/F, Lisa is actually a character, M/M, No Aliens, and not just a terrible outfit and things we hear from Ianto, i hope you like her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:47:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29114742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Call_Me_Tears/pseuds/Call_Me_Tears
Summary: Ianto doesn't know how his life ended up like it has. His boss is immortal, his coworker knows he's sleeping with said boss, and said co-worker just happens to be dating his ex-girlfriend.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato/Lisa Hallet/Unknown Woman
Series: Torchwood P.I. [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100213
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	1. Dead or Alive

**Author's Note:**

> As always, this is edited by [mystic-writes](https://mystic-writes.tumblr.com/). This book is a lot less exciting than the others since there isn't any murder. I also don't know how court proceedings go in the UK, so I'm just using my knowledge from my American point of view.

Ianto scrambles back, away from Jack, slipping on the blood and smacking his head into a puddle. Ianto doesn't stop though, continuing to move away, until his back hits the wall. He's panting, his eyes wide as he stares at Jack who's coughing back to life. 

Ianto gasps as the bullet hole in the middle of his forehead closes. 

"Ianto?" Jack calls out, but Ianto doesn't say anything. He just keeps panting, clenching his trousers in his fists, trying to keep himself from hyperventilating. "Ianto!" 

Jack moves to go towards him, but Ianto stops him, asking lowly, "What the fuck are you?" 

Jack stops and looks at Ianto from across the room, eyeing the trail of blood he created from where he was laying to where he is now, and Ianto curls his legs up into his chest as Jack surveys him. 

"Ianto, it's me. It's Jack. I can explain everything," Jack says, his voice soft. Softer than Ianto's ever heard it. Ianto feels like when he was five, hiding in his closet from his father when his mother came in to join him, to tell him it was alright. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Ianto's eyes widen at that and he unfolds himself. He didn't think Jack was going to hurt him. He never would think that. He's just scared. 

"I-" Ianto tries to say, but his throat closes around him. He swallows and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. "I killed Suzie."

Looking up, he sees Jack looking into his eyes with a look like he understood what Ianto was going through. Like he'd killed someone before too. 

That scared Ianto more than anything else. 

Jack moves closer to Ianto, and Ianto slides towards him, putting his bloody hands against Jack's face when they meet in the middle. Ianto smears blood around where the bullet hole once was, then gives Jack two bloody handprints on his cheeks, before leaning it and touching his own blood-less forehead against Jack's slick one. 

"I-I just-" Ianto goes to say, but Jack pulls him into, holding onto Ianto tight, and Ianto grabs Jack's coat. Jack presses a kiss to Ianto's head as the Welshman says, "How the fuck am I going to clean this coat?" 

* * *

Ianto sits opposite Jack in the chippy, playing with the chips Jack bought him while Jack devours his fish. When the worker saw them come in, she was going to call the police, but Jack smiled and said, "We're extras for a new movie filming here, and we have to get back to set later. Can't take the makeup off." Ianto had to admit it was pretty genius, and after flirting with the cashier and paying for their fish and chips, Jack had sat them down at a table and started eating ravenously. 

"So," Jack says while chewing. "You probably have questions."

Ianto screws his nose up and looks away from Jack. "Please, swallow before you talk."

Jack smirks. "Good thinking. Spitters are quitters," he says, still with food in his mouth. Ianto rolls his eyes again and leans back in his seat. Jack swallows his food and says, "So. What do you want to know?"

"How long have you known Suzie?" Ianto asks, finally being able to get his questions answered. 

Jack pauses before saying seriously, "We met in 1879." 

Ianto's eyes go wide. "So that would make you-" 

"Almost 200 years old? Yeah. Suzie was even older. Her and her father both," Jack says and Ianto nods, looking back down at his chips. "Suzie's father, the creator of Pilgrim, now called 'The Pharm' was a madman, and a genius in his own right. Recruited a man, a Doctor. Never learned his name. His assistant's name was Rose. Rose Tyler. She would keep me company after The Doctor's tests, when I would be in pain."

Ianto raises his eyebrows and looks up at Jack. "Keep you company…" 

Jack's eyes widen and he laughs. "Oh, no, no, not like that. I mean I always wished, but she was in love with The Doctor. Always was," Jack scoffs and looks away. Ianto follows his gaze out the window onto Cardiff, the rain pouring down outside, people with umbrellas and hoods up, and some with little more than a collar. Jack continues, "He was obsessed with his experiments. Never looking at her twice. Whenever I was strapped to that table, I would flirt with both of them, Rose would too, but he never batted an eye." 

"Why didn't you ever try to leave?" Ianto asks and Jack scoffs. 

"You think I didn't try? By the time I was thirty I had tried no less than eighty times to get out of there. The place was a maze. Probably built that way intentionally so people like me couldn't get out," Jack says, turning back to Ianto, who's staring at the older man in shock. "And then, one night, there was a fire. I didn't know who did it, but it was definitely intentional, and while I was being dissected. Rose gave me everything she had, then told me she was sorry and ran. Left me there. All the chemicals, building up in me, and I died. And then I came back. And I haven't been the same ever since."

Ianto closes his eyes and sighs. "Damn."

"Don't you dare say-" 

"That must have fucking sucked balls."

Ianto looks up and sees Jack's eyes wide, before the American throws his head back and starts laughing. Ianto starts giggling too and soon the two men are being pushed out of the chippy for being too loud, into the rain, and when Ianto looks up and sees Jack laughing, his hair wet, and his smile radiant, Ianto wants to kiss him. 


	2. Something New, Something Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I forgot to upload at 12! I was busy and just totally forgot. But better late than never, amirite? This is edited by [mystic-writes](https://mystic-writes.tumblr.com/).

"Ianto!" Tosh called for the secretary-turned-archivist who is currently heading for the coffee machine. "Can I talk to you?" Ianto nods and goes back towards his coffee machine, until Tosh calls again, "Alone?" 

Ianto turns around and nods once more. "Yeah. Sure."

Tosh follows Ianto down into the archives, where he sets his cup down on the old, rotting desk, and gestures for Tosh to sit in the only chair. She crosses her legs and Ianto raises an eyebrow as she plays with her fingers. 

Ianto goes to take a sip of his coffee when Tosh finally speaks. 

"I-I saw." 

Ianto sets the mug back down, his eyebrow raised, and he crosses his arms, waiting for her to continue. 

She shifts in her chair, touching a loose strand of hair back away from her face. It must have slipped from her ponytail. She says, "Two nights ago. When Jack sent us all home early. I forgot my phone, and when I walked back in I saw you two, in his office…" Ianto's eyes widen and his cheeks flame as he opens his mouth to say something, but he can't find the words. "I-I'm not judging! I just… I want to know that you're okay. He is your boss. If something is…" 

She trails off and Ianto.finally finds his words again as he says, "No! No." He sighs. "It's nothing like that. We're two consenting adults. It's…" 

"What?" Tosh asks, leaning forward as she sees a glint in Ianto's eye. 

He smirks and his vision blurs as he remembers their time together. "It's… well, it's amazing."

Tosh's eyes widen and she giggles. Ianto joins her and soon the two of them are laughing. "Well, I'm glad you found someone. My girlfriends and I-" Tosh cuts herself off and blushes as he looks away. 

Ianto's eyes widen and he grins. "Girlfriends? Our little Toshiko managed to snag more than one?" 

Tosh laughs, still blushing, as she says, "There's just two of them."

"What-" Ianto goes to ask, but he's cut off by a very loud, very American voice coming from outside the archives. 

"TOSH! IANTO!" 

Ianto sighs and looks over at Tosh who giggles again and shrugs before leaving the archives. Tosh and Ianto join Owen and Jack in the main hub, and Jack grins. 

"Good! You both already look great! Come on!" He says, moving toward the underground car park. 

Ianto stumbles to catch up as Owen turns around, dramatic, and Tosh follows behind. "Wh-where are we going?" 

Jack stops and Ianto almost runs into him as he says cheerily, "We're going to court!" 

* * *

Ianto had never been in the Cardiff Magistrates' Court. He'd had to go to family and sml claims court a couple of times, but never to Magistrates' Court. Ianto had to admit, the building's scale was certainly imposing. 

But Jack, Tosh, and Owen pay it no mind as they walk up the steps and Ianto scrambles after them, almost tripping up the steps as he falls back in line with them, next to Owen. Entering the courthouse isn't all that strange. Empty pockets, go through a metal detector, fill pockets back up again. Ianto goes through fairly quickly, and he joins Jack and Tosh on the other side while Owen gets pulled over. He grumbles as he's searched.

"I'm going to go find my girlfriend. Say hi. I promise I won't be long," Tosh says, turning away, and Jack smirks. 

"Hey, don't worry about it! Have some fun with your girlfriend!" Jack calls and she turns around, giving him the finger. He just laughs. 

"Tosh's girlfriend works here?" Ianto asks and Jack nods. 

"Yeah. One of them does. She's a lawyer. The other is a doctor…" Jack says and Ianto's eyebrows shoot up. 

"Impressive," he says and Jack snorts as Owen walks over. 

"You two ladies weren't gossiping about me, were you?" Owen asks with a smile and Ianto's own smile drops. 

Jack turns to him and jokes, "Ladies? We're more man than you could ever be!" 

Owen hits Jack's arm, who laughs, and starts walking toward their courtroom. 

As they near, the corridors become less and less crowded, until they're near the back of the building. They turn the corner and Ianto freezes. 

He sees Tosh kiss someone on the cheek, smiling and laughing as she bounds back over to them. The woman looks back at the group before slipping inside the courtroom, and Tosh walks up to them, beaming. 

"Ianto, are you okay?" She asks, her smile fading slightly. 

All Ianto manages to say is, "Your girlfriend is my ex. Lisa Hallet."


	3. Old Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early chapter to make up for the previous chapter being late. Also, I know this isn't really how courts work, but I like the drama loll. This is edited by [mystic-writes](https://mystic-writes.tumblr.com/)

To say things were tense was an understatement. Not only was Tosh's girlfriend Ianto's ex, but she was also on the opposing counsel, trying to keep the murderer they arrested out of prison. When brought up to the stand as a witness after seeing Lisa's face, he was quickly ruled out as a witness for having previous conflict with one of the attorneys. Tosh was also ruled out, and that left Jack and Owen to take the stand. 

"Mr. Harkness-" Lisa begins to say, but Jack interrupts her. 

"Please, call me Jack," he says, and when the stenographer goes to say something, he winks at her and she blushes furiously as she goes back to typing. 

"Mister Harkness," Lisa tries again, through her teeth. "You are the one who arrested Mr. James. Is that correct?" 

Jack nods and smiles. "Yes, I arrested him. With Ianto's help of course. Probably could have used another there. He got a little bitey at the end. Mind you, I love a good bite, but time and a place, you know?" Jack rambles and Lisa looks like she wants to strangle him. 

Ianto huffs. Fat lot of good that would do. 

"And, why, pray tell, did you arrest him?" Lisa asks. 

"There were traces of blood on the weapon he used to kill that bloke," Jack says, nodding towards Mr. James. 

"Please don't address the defendant," Lisa says, before continuing on. "And, how did you get into his house?" 

"We had a very lovely conversation and he let us in," Jack says, shifting in his seat. It's the first time Ianto's ever seen Jack truly nervous. 

Lisa crosses the floor, going diagonal from him almost in front of the prosecutor's table. "Well, my client here tells me that you said you were, and I quote, 'PC Harkness and PC Jones.'" Ianto stiffens at that and sees Jack mimic his position, albeit, less noticeably. "So, if my client is to be believed, you impersonated police, raided his home without a warrant, and unlawfully arrested my client under false pretenses."

And then the courtroom exploded. 

"Objection! Strike that from the record!" The prosecutor shouts. 

"Recess! Recess!" The judge tries to tell above the noise. 

"We didn't discuss this! What are you doing?" Lisa's partner asks from the table. 

"What is going on?" Gerod asks as he's being led out of the room by the bailiff. 

Lisa turns around and leaves the courtroom through a side door, and Ianto gets up and runs out of the room after her. 

"Lisa!" He calls out after her. 

She turns around and grins. "Ianto!" She calls back. She walks over and gives him a hug. He pulls back and looks her up and down, seeing her well-pressed and probably very expensive pantsuit, her hair is long and tied back in a beautifully shiny ponytail. She's wearing sensible flats, and little makeup on her already beautiful face. 

"Wow you look…" Ianto begins to say, trailing off. "Amazing!" 

"Much better than I did when I was dating you, huh?" She asks, laughing, and Ianto laughs nervously. 

There's silence for a moment and they both go to talk at the same time. 

"So, you're dating-"

"So, you're with-" 

Ianto blushes and says, "You first."

"You're with Torchwood now, huh?" Lisa asks and Ianto scratches the back of his neck. "They seem… interesting." 

"You're dating one of them," Ianto says, rolling his eyes and Lisa grins. 

"Touché, Ianto Jones."

Ianto smiles a small, closed mouth smile at her and says, "It's good to see you Lisa. You look very happy."

Lisa leans in and gives Ianto a hug. "Thank you."

He stands there, shocked, before she pulls away, holding his shoulders. He doesn't have a chance to ask what she meant before she's walking back into the courtroom. 

* * *

"Well, that was a right mess," Jack says as the four of them enter the hub. 

Tosh breaks off immediately, going to her station silently. Owen goes to say something, but Ianto glares at him, and he shuffles off to his station as well. 

"Would you like a cup of coffee, sir?" Ianto asks and Jack nods. 

"Yeah. Bring it up to my office. We have a lot to talk about," Jack says and Ianto nods. 

He goes to make some cups of coffee for everyone, bringing Owen his first. 

"Thanks, mate," he says and Ianto nods at him as well. He brings Tosh's cup over to her. She doesn't acknowledge him, but he sees her smile. Finally, he grabs Jack's mug and some chocolate digestives and walks up to Jack's office, his hands shaking as he brings the tray upstairs. He opens the door and sets the tray down for Jack who's sitting with his hand folded. 

Ianto wouldn't be surprised if he's been doing that ever since he got up to his office. Jack likes a bit of drama. 

Ianto puts Jack's mug in front of him, and slides the digestives over. "So…" Ianto trails off, looking anywhere but Jack. "You met my ex-girlfriend." 

Jack raises an eyebrow before leaning back. "Yes, and that ex-girlfriend has one hell of a cross examination, if I do say so myself," Jack says and Ianto rolls his eyes. 

"I didn't know she would be there. Hell, I haven't talked to her in four years! It didn't exactly end well…" Ianto mutters and Jack leans in more, as if pressing Ianto for more information. "She left for law school. Went to study in America. Said I shouldn't wait for her. She was going to visit during her breaks, but she never did. So, I did. I just moved on."

Jack leans back in his seat. "So, you haven't talked to her in years." 

Ianto nods. "Yeah. After the first two years, I just sort of gave up. She wasn't phoning me, wasn't messaging me, so I took the hint. I didn't know she was one of Tosh's bloody girlfriends…" 

Jack snorts. "If I had known it was her I never would have agreed to testify. All it did was bite us in the arse anyways," Jack says and Ianto laughs. 

"You know, I'm really glad you went up there instead of me. I would have cocked it up even more if I went up there." 

"Well, good thing we're not going back. The judge dismissed Torchwood PI as witnesses," Jack says and Ianto nods. 

They look at each other for a couple of seconds before Ianto says, "Tosh knows. About us." 

Jack raises an eyebrow and looks at Ianto through his long lashes. "And? Is that a problem?" 

Ianto's eyes widen and he says, "No! No, not- not a problem. Just… well… when I was with Lisa, we didn't tell anyone about our relationship for… well for a year. We took it slow. And I guess- well- we-," Ianto cuts himself off. He doesn't know what to call Jack. He certainly wasn't his boyfriend. He was a good shag. He was fun. But Ianto didn't know what to call him. "I dunno. I'm sorry, sir." 

"There's no need to be sorry," Jack says, before casually adding in, "Tell Tosh to join me up here. I need to speak to her as well."

Ianto nods and Jack takes a bite of his digestive. "Very well, sir."

"Oh! And Ianto!" Jack calls, and Ianto stops at the door looking back. "After work. Stay a little later. I want to spend some time with you."

Ianto nods and blushes, leaving Jack's office. 


	4. Deep Cuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter. Also, sorry it's short. Edited by [mystic-writes](https://mystic-writes.tumblr.com/)

"Thank you for meeting me," Lisa says as Ianto sits down across from her at the cafe table. 

Ianto nods. "Of course." The two of them don't speak for a few moments. "It's- it's been a while," Ianto says, breaking the silence. 

"Yes, yes it has," Lisa says, and the two fall into a tense silence again. "You look good. You're in a suit."

Ianto smiles. "So do you. And you’re a lawyer. I knew you could do it," he says and she grins. 

"Yes, well, it wasn't without a lot of hard work," she says and Ianto nods. 

"Why didn't you visit me?" 

Lisa's eyes go wide as he says this and she looks away. 

Ianto sighs. "You promised you would visit. You knew I didn't have enough money to go to America. You told me you would see me."

"I-" Lisa goes to say, but she cuts herself off. "I'm sorry. I was busy." 

Ianto scoffs and nods. "Right. Right. Too busy to come see me after you moved back?" 

Lisa gets up, a cold look on her face. "Well, I'm sorry."

"I was in love with you!" 

Ianto stands up with her, leaning over the table. Lisa looks at him with wide eyes, and she sits back down again. 

"I was in love with you," Ianto says, quieter now after being shushed by the other patrons. "And you left me. I was heartbroken. I think, after all this time, I still love you, Lisa." 

Lisa sighs and Ianto sits back down. "Ianto I-" 

"Hey, I don't expect anything in return. And I don't want a relationship with you. I just needed to tell you that," Ianto says, putting his hands up. 

Lisa nods and grabs at her purse around her shoulder. Ianto fiddles with his fingers in his lap. The waitress comes around and takes their empty cups, replacing them with scones. Lisa looks down at the plate, and Ianto looks at Lisa. 

"I'm sorry I didn't come back. I thought you were pushing me away," Lisa admits and Ianto's eyes go wide as they meet their gazes. "I thought, you telling me to go to America, to take that leap, was your way of pushing me aside. So I left. And I didn't look back." Ianto looks away and bites his lip. Lisa reaches over and grabs his hand. "If I hadn't left, I never would have met Toshi! I never would have found the loves of my life!" 

Ianto looks up at her, tears pricking his eyes as he says, "I'm glad you found love, Lisa. I really, truly am happy that you're happy."

Lisa smiles and squeezes his hands. "And what about you? Have you found anyone?" 

Ianto blushes and looks away, wiping underneath his eyes. "Uh.. well… you could say that…" 

"What's her name!" Lisa exclaims and Ianto can feel his blush creep lower and lower down his neck. 

"Uh… his name is Jack. Jack Harkness," Ianto says and Lisa's eyes go wide. She lets go of his hand and he places them in his lap. "We're… well we're… we're romantically involved, one might say." 

"You're with Harkness?" Lisa asks, with a small laugh. 

Ianto frowns. "Is that so hard to believe?" 

Lisa smiles and shakes her head. "No! No. I just always assumed you were more one for… well for women."

Ianto cocks an eyebrow up. "And I thought you were more one for men," he shoots back and Lisa gapes at him for a moment before looking away. 

"I guess we really don't know a lot about each other." 

Ianto nods. "I would like to." Lisa looks up at him and Ianto's eyes widen as he clarifies. "To get to know you better!" Lisa smiles. 

"I would like that as well." 


	5. Old Friends and New Lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter. Smut from this chapter will be uploaded in two days. I have no idea when the next book will be uploaded. I haven't finished the first chapter yet, so we'll see. Edited by [mystic-writes.](https://mystic-writes.tumblr.com/)

Ianto walks back into the hub after his meeting with Lisa, not wanting to go back to his messy flat. He still hasn't cleaned it, spending more time in the hub and Jack's room than his own home. It distresses him, being surrounded by mess. And if he had the energy, he would actually clean it up. 

Ianto plops down on the old leather couch that's started to stink, and he wrinkles his nose at the idea of getting it cleaned. It would probably just be better to throw the entire thing out. He leans his elbows on his knees and puts his head in his hands, sighing loudly. 

"Everything alright?" Ianto hears Jack say and he looks up to see Jack standing right in front of him. 

Ianto looks up even more and sees Jack's smirking, but still concerned face looking down at him. 

Ianto sighs and nods. "Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. Just… it was just a lot, you know?" 

Jack nods and Ianto moves over slightly, letting Jack sit down next to him on the couch. Jack places a hand on Ianto's shoulder, who leans into the touch. Ianto looks up at Jack, tears in his eyes. 

"I genuinely loved her." 

Jack raises an eyebrow. "And now?" 

Ianto sighs. "I think seeing her brought up old feelings, but nothing new. I think I will always love her, but I'm not  _ in _ love with her anymore." 

Jack nods and Ianto leans his head on Jack's shoulder. He feels Jack give him a kiss on his hair, and Ianto smiles. 

"Come on," Jack says, standing up. He holds a hand out and Ianto takes it, letting Jack drag him down into his bunker. 

Jack goes down first and Ianto follows, standing as Jack takes off his shirt, undershirt, belt, and bracers, leaving him in his trousers. 

Jack walks over and undresses Ianto similarly, pressing soft kisses to his skin, so soft Ianto almost doesn't even feel them. Ianto preens underneath the attention, throwing his head back as Jack walks around him, hugging him from the back. Ianto can feel his arousal pressing against his pants, and Jack kisses the side of his neck. 

"Do you want to do this?" Jack whispers into his skin and Ianto nods. 

"Yes."

* * *

Ianto sits on the edge of Jack's cot, and shivers when Jack runs his fingers over his hips. Jack kisses Ianto's spine and he sighs with content. Ianto reaches back and turns around halfway so Jack's head is on his knee and Ianto's hands are carding through Jack's hair. 

This is the most tender moment they've shared together, the two of them taking a quiet moment after sex to just sit and relax. Ianto finds that he really likes it. As much as he loves the sex, this moment, right here, sitting naked next to Jack, is better than any sex he's ever had. 

Ianto leans down and kisses Jack, slowly, and the American reaches up, placing his hand on Ianto's cheek, smiling through the kiss. 

And that's when Ianto hears the phone ring. 

Jack groans as Ianto moves to get up, and Jack wraps his arms around the Welshman's waist, holding him to the cot. 

"Sir, it might be important," Ianto says quietly and Jack sighs, pressing one last kiss to Ianto's hip before letting go. 

Ianto puts on his pants and trousers, before leaving the bunker, and making his way to his desk in the hub. Ianto took over Suzie's desk and now uses it for when he's in the archives and needs to run to pick up a call. The tone is loud, so if Ianto doesn't hear it, Owen will scream at him to shut the damn thing up and answer the phone. 

Ianto picks up the phone and quickly says, "Hello, this is Ianto Jones with Torchwood P.I. How can I help you today?" 

"Hello? Is Jack there?" A voice says. Ianto notes that it's an old woman's voice. 

Ianto smiles pleasantly and replies, "He's a little indisposed at the moment, but I can take a note for you?" 

"Yes, yes, that would be lovely, thank you," the woman says and Ianto grabs a pad of paper and a pen. "My name is Estelle Cole. I have some information on a string of murders."


End file.
